He once won a chili cook-off -- just by showing up.
If he were to shake your hand, it's not that you wouldn't want to wash it. You wouldn't need to. Ever.
Chuck Norris has him on speed dial.
His weekend t-shirts have experienced more than a lesser man's full wardrobe.
He literally built a house out of spit and twigs. And it passed inspection.
He is...the Most Fascinating Man in Texas.
"I don't always watch High School Football, but when I do, I watch the Ennis Lions."
The most fascinating man in Texas...
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