Hey guys, I’m back! Nope, I haven’t been benched yet. Not even after I told you to sit C.J. Anderson and the guy went for 154 total yards and two touchdowns. He literally was the highest scoring running back in fantasy football last week, and I told you to bench him, and I still have a job!
I made a joke last week about my boss not being like Bill O’Brien and benching me immediately for the promising rookie. But the thing is, there is no promising rookie to replace me with. I’m pretty sure my bosses talked about it and realized the only other options were the fantasy football “guru” equivalents of Christian Hackenbrg and Bryce Petty.
IT’S LIKE I’M JOSH MCCOWN AND YOU’RE A JETS FAN.
YOU’RE JUST STUCK WITH ME.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kidding aside, my week two performance was actually pretty good outside of the Anderson goof. It was certainly better than my week one. I told you to start Phillip Rivers and bench Marcus Mariota. Rivers finished as the seventh-best while Mariota was 18th.
I thought Chris Hogan would be a good play and he delivered with five catches for 78 yards and a touchdown. The wide receiver I told you to sit, Corey Coleman, had only one catch on seven targets before breaking his hand and getting placed on the injured reserve.
The tight end I told you to start, Martellus Bennett, got 11 targets but didn’t capitalize on them. But, hey, hopefully you listened to me about benching Tyler Eifert, because he didn’t do much of anything.
Here are my start/sit picks for week three. One of these is sure to go horribly wrong:
Quarterbacks
START: Alex Smith, Kansas City – I am buying into the Alex Smith hype. I actually picked him up off waivers last week and am considering starting him over Drew Brees. Brees isn’t the same quarterback outdoors and plays at Carolina, who’s given up the second least fantasy points to QBs through two weeks. Smith is the league’s #1 fantasy QB, albeit on a small sample size, but he gets a Chargers defense that’s allowed the fifth most fantasy points to QBs thus far, and I think the subtle changes Andy Reid has made to Kansas City’s offense, which I believe were made for first-round pick Pat Mahomes, benefit Smith as well.
SIT: Marcus Mariota, Tennessee – Yep, I’m going with Mariota again. The former Heisman trophy winner has another bad matchup with Seattle coming to town. If you don’t know about the Seahawks secondary, you’re really not a good football fan. Mariota will be fine in the long run, but if you have a better option this week, I’d consider using it.
Running Backs
START: Christian McCaffrey, Carolina – McCaffrey’s rookie season has gotten off to a slow start with just 129 total yards and no touchdowns through two games. But now he gets a dream matchup with the New Orleans Saints, who struggle to do just about everything defensively.
SIT: Isaiah Crowell, Cleveland – Crowell looks headed towards bust city with just 70 yards on 27 carries (2.6 yards per rush), two catches for 33 yards and no touchdowns. This week he gets an Indianapolis defense that was supposed to be bad, but is surprisingly giving up just 2.5 yards per carry this season.
Wide Receivers
START: Kelvin Benjamin, Carolina – One week I might tell you to start every single player going against the New Orleans Saints. New Orleans has given up the most yards and fantasy points to WRs this year. Benjamin recovered from a disastrous week one with six catches for 77 yards against Buffalo on Sunday. Cam Newton’s favorite safety valve Greg Olsen was just placed on the IR with a broken foot, so Benjamin should get even more looks than usual in this one.
SIT: Jeremy Maclin, Baltimore – Maclin is riding the touchdown train with scores in each of his first two games. Touchdown production is tough to keep going on a consistent basis, and without those scores, Maclin wouldn’t even be among the top 36 fantasy WRs. He’s averaging only three catches for 43.5 yards, and something tells me he doesn’t find pay dirt against a Jacksonville defense giving up the fourth-least amount of fantasy points to WRs.
Tight Ends
START: Jack Doyle, Indianapolis – Doyle caught 8-of-8 targets against Arizona last week and gets a Cleveland defense that is allowing the second most fantasy points to TE’s this year.
SIT: Martellus Bennett, Green Bay – Bennett has caught less than half his targets this year and plays a Cincinnati team that has given up just two catches for 19 yards to opposing TEs thus far.
Defense/Special Teams
START: New England Patriots – The Texans O-line is a mess, and I’m sure New England coach Bill Belichick will dial up plenty of exotic blitzes to overwhelm the guys up front make hell for rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson.
SIT: Carolina Panthers – Carolina has been lucky enough to play two of the NFL’s worst offenses in San Francisco and Buffalo to start the season. Drew Brees and the Saints, however, won’t be nearly as forgiving.
